


Luckless

by daddy_sensei



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Car Accidents, Hurt Dean Winchester, M/M, Vietnam War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-19
Updated: 2014-12-19
Packaged: 2018-03-02 04:02:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2798804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daddy_sensei/pseuds/daddy_sensei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After being involved in a car accident, Sam Wesson finally realizes what the most important thing in his life is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Luckless

_Somewhere Outside Kansas City, 1969_

 

We were arguing again, and again I had no clue what about, nor did I care. All I knew was the more Dean kept yelling in my ear the more pissed I got. I was so blinded by rage that every red light was green to me. I blew through every stop sign not giving a damn who saw, but being out in some sleepy, back-water town, I don’t think anyone did see.

 

“Are you listening to me!?” Dean yelled.

 

“I’m sort of busy driving.”

 

“Well then pull over and I’ll kick your ass while I’m at it.” I slammed on my brakes and ripped the key out of the ignition at the sound of the threat, coming to a complete stop at a crossroads.

 

“I’d like to see you try.” I snapped.

 

“Oh so now you wanna listen. The moment we start fighting, you wanna join in.” he paused. “This has been the same argument for weeks now and yet you could care less.” His voice was calmer when he said it but I could tell he was still upset with me.

 

“You’re right I could care less, because you know what?! It’s not going to change a damn thing. I got drafted and there’s nothing I can do about it! So we should just stop talking about it because you yelling at me isn’t going to help.” Dean sat up in his seat and pulled his hands to his face.

 

"I'm just tired of this, you know? All the fighting and the lying and..." He trailed off.

 

I felt bad for yelling at him now because I sort of understood how he felt. All the lies we've had to tell people and all the fighting we've done the past few months. It’s hard out there, in this world, for people like us. He was right.

 

"I know...” I paused. What was I supposed to say? _I know how hard this must be for you._ I couldn't say that because I didn't know. I was going to go fight in some god forsaken war on the other side of the planet while Dean stayed here, not knowing if I were alive or not. I didn’t want to do that to him-I couldn't leave him. It's hard enough being gay, but leaving him here to drown in worries. I couldn't do that to him, I loved him too much.

 

"We can't run from this and you know that but, what else are we supposed to do?"

 

He didn't reply. He just ran his hands through his hair and let out a long sigh.

 

"Listen..." I started to say but it was too late. I felt it before I saw it. Of course if I had seen it, I would've moved out of the way. I could feel the door molding around me and enclosing me in the car. Then we were flipping, over and over and over, my head smashing into everything along the way. Sometimes, I would see the night sky, then the gravel road, and then the windshield breaking and the glass scattering into my eyes. Then, I saw nothing.

 

 

 

When I woke, I could hear a cardiograph beeping but I couldn't see anything. I started to panic, unplugging all sorts of cords which triggered an orchestra of alarms. I pulled my hands to my face, where I felt a dozen little scratches and a bandage stretched over my nose. I scaled my fingers up the bridge of my nose until I felt another bandage stretched across my eyes. Terrified by the thought of being blind, I started tearing at the bandages.

 

"Sir!" I heard a woman's voice exclaim. I felt her hands grip my wrist and forced them down to my sides.

 

"Sir, you need to calm down!"

 

"But my eyes! I can't- I can't see." I whined.

 

"It's okay." She said "Your eyes were just a little dinged up in the accident, that’s all. You do remember the accident don't you?" I nodded.

 

I did remember - bits and pieces. I remembered enough to know that it was my fault. I was a dumb ass for stopping in the middle of the road.

 

"What about Dean!? Is he okay?" I stressed.

 

"We’ll discuss Mr. Smith’s situation once I've gone over yours, alright?"

 

"No! I need to know if he's okay!" She sighed.

 

"I'm afraid Mr. Smith’s injuries were more severe than yours. When they arrived, the paramedics fond him ejected from the car. The doctors say he may have suffered some head trauma in the accident. He’s has yet to wake up since the accident and is currently in ICU but if his unconscious state remains, he’ll be moved into ward two with the other coma patients."

 

I couldn't feel anything. My legs, my arms, my whole body was numb. I felt empty by the thought of Dean hooked up to a bunch of machines, fighting for his life. I felt even worse knowing I did it to him. It was all my fault and if he died...I-I don't know what I’d do. He was my everything.

 

"At the moment, the doctors have high hopes for him. They believe, he'll more than likely wake up with in a couple of days but, right now I need to go over your injuries okay?" I nodded as she continued.

 

"Let's start with a name."

 

"Sam Wesson."

 

She continued to ask me a series of meaningless questions that I answered. I felt like I was on autopilot the whole time she questioned me. I would answer her questions but my mind was somewhere else. I was thinking about the accident and Dean. I thought about how horribly I had treated him the past few weeks. I thought about all our fights and how much of a dick I’d been to him. Then I thought about the other car: Why didn't I see it coming? Why didn't it see me!?

 

"If you think you’re ready, the bandages over your eyes are ready to come off, so I could remove them now, if you’d like?" She asked.

 

"Please."

 

"Now, your eyes are going to be a little sensitive to the lighting but other than that, you shouldn't feel any pain."

 

It felt like an eternity, but she slowly removed the bandages to reveal the lights, which did indeed hurt my eyes.

 

"Could I see Dean now?" I asked, squinting to see the name tag which was slightly covered by her wavy brown hair. It read _"Nurse Masters_."

 

“Im sorry sir, but given your relationship status with Mr. Smith, I’m afraid I can’t allow that.

 

“My relationship status?” I barked back.

 

“It’s just, because you’re not of ken, I can’t allow you to see him, especially in his condition.”

 

I felt like an ass for yelling at her. I only thought she knew. God, if she had known! Would the doctors still treat me if they had known? Would they still treat Dean!?

 

“Well, you obviously need to get some sleep so I’ll leave you now. I’ll be back in a jiffy to check on you and see if you need anything.” She said as she closed the door, leaving me alone with my thoughts of guilt.

 

Everything I thought of would come back to Dean. Him lying there. Him dreaming. Him in pain, because of me. I couldn’t leave to fight in some damn war now! Not when Dean needed me the most. Could I stay? Maybe if I explained to someone that he had no one else to help him recover, maybe I could lie and say he was my cousin or brother or something. Ugh! I could care less right now-I just needed to see Dean. I hopped out of bed and grabbed my clothes, which were sat in the chair across the room. I left my small and cold room, only to welcome an equally freezing and empty hallway. I walked with my head down, only glancing up every few seconds trying to find one of those little information boards. Two or three doors down, I found one. It said the ICU was on the first floor, right below me. After an uncomfortable elevator ride full of nurses and a doctor, one left turn, and two right, I finally made it to Dean’s room-138. It took me a minute to find it. His room was the sixth door down. When peering in the other five, trying to find him, all I saw were nameless faces. All covered in wires and cords, surrounded by flowers and cards. Then there was Dean's room. Empty.

 

I had to will myself to open the door but eventually my nerves calmed long enough for me to do so. I slowly opened the door to see Dean surrounded by dozens of machines, whose names I didn’t know. I could hear him breathing, the tubes in his mouth made it sound like he was gurgling water. It sounded like that for a while until it didn't. In the calmness that followed, I found my mouth open but no words coming out. Staring at Dean's still body I realized how amazing he was. In that moment, he was…beautiful, in a rough sorta way. His hair slightly fell over his eyes and I remembered how, sometimes, when he looked at me, with those big, doe, green eyes, everything seemed alright. God! I wished he would open them now. I wished he’d wake up and look at me, really look at me. I wanted him to wake up and tell me that everything was going to be okay.

 

“I'm so sorry.” I said to the stillness. "I didn’t mean for any of this happen. I never wanted to hurt you. This is all my fault and I-I'm just so sorry." I paused pulling his hand into mine. "It’s gonna okay, alright? You know I love you. You know I do. And I don’t care what it takes, I’m not gonna let anything happen to you, okay?” I finished with squeeze on Dean’s hand and just as I was about let go, I felt him squeeze back. I had never realized how perfect we were until now, until the moment I almost lost him.


End file.
